We Need to Talk
No one loves having a difficult conversation at work—but most of us have had to do it. Because it’s so common, knowing how to navigate a sensitive discussion effectively is essential.
The Risks of Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Even so, difficult conversations are necessary. You may need to confront a team member about their behavior, give someone negative feedback, or have a frank discussion with your boss. Regardless of the situation, dealing with it head-on is the best course of action. Not doing so can lead to more problems in the long haul.
Step 1: Prepare
Before you engage the other party, prepare for the conversation. Consider the issue from all angles. Are you overlooking something? Have you misread the situation? What questions do you need answered?
In addition to gathering your thoughts, you need to adopt the right mindset. Deal with your emotions—whether you feel angry, hurt, or resentful—so those feelings don’t hinder constructive conversation.
Whether you need to confront a coworker, give an employee bad news, or discuss a delicate issue with your boss, you need to learn a four-step process to help you have that difficult conversation. You’ll also need to learn what to do before, during, and after your discussion to confidently engage your teammates, reach a place of mutual understanding, and overcome issues in the workplace.
Step 2: Frame the communication effectively
The next step is to frame your message effectively. The first thing you say in a difficult conversation can change the other person’s interpretation of everything that follows.
Step 3: Discuss the issue
It’s finally time to discuss the issue. Remember that a discussion is two-sided, and it leaves space for both parties to express their feelings, interpretations, feedback, or disagreement. It’s a Discussion—Not a Lecture.
Step 4: Wrap up the discussion
The final step is to wrap up the discussion. Knowing when to end a conversation is just as crucial as knowing how to end it. If you let the dialogue drag on too long, you risk undoing any progress you’ve made. But if you end the conversation too early, you might leave important points untouched.
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